Monday, February 28, 2011

The Road to Yarrr: Amarr

They believe in `peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of all other life forms'.
--Douglas Adams

I have a guilt complex.  Specifically, I feel guilty for taking so much joy from the game of EVE Online without giving something back.  It's one of the primary factors that drives me to write this blog.  So for the next two weeks I'll take a break from my tales of being blown up and present to you a guide to how you too can get blown up.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Dog With a Bone

You cannot see what I see because you see what you see. You cannot know what I know because you know what you know. What I see and what I know cannot be added to what you see and what you know because they are not of the same kind. Neither can it replace what you see and what you know, because that would be to replace you yourself.
--Douglas Adams

It seems players often underestimate just how patiently Pirates in EVE will pursue a target.  While I can certainly understand wanting to get back to playing your game when a Pirate interrupts you, take a moment to consider the lengths that he's willing to go to in playing his game.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Why We Do It

Yes, it is true that sometimes unusually intelligent and sensitive children can appear to be stupid. But stupid children can sometimes appear to be stupid as well. I think that's something you might have to consider.
--Douglas Adams

After my last post, the obvious question is why anyone engages anything with a hint of being bait.  Here's a time when I was absolutely positively sure I was being baited into a fight.  As it turned out, he didn't have any backup at all.  Lucky me.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Taking the Bait

For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while.
--Douglas Adams

In the past I've mentioned target selection as a consideration on which ships can and can't be engaged safely.  There's another aspect to target selection that I'd like to go over, those with backup.  Specifically, those that are baiting other ships into attacking them.  Learning to spot the bait is an important aspect to successful Piracy and not necessarily one I've mastered.  So please, join me for a few tales of the FNG taking the bait, for better or worse.

Monday, February 14, 2011

I Want You to Want Me

And we’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere…and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together guys. 
--Douglas Adams

A number of reasons for this post, not just to make Cheap Trick references.  This also commemorates the first kills I made after finally attaining outlaw status, and where the first bounty on my head came from.  It's also a scarily appropriate title considering that today is Valentine's Day and I wrote this post several weeks ago and just added it to the end of my posting schedule...maybe it's fate?

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Let Me Count the Ways

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.
--Douglas Adams

I don't make any attempts to hide the fact that I despise nullsec.  Everything about its play style is anathema to the way I approach EVE.  Now, I'm sure that some of you reading this may have a very different opinion of 0.0 space.  So please, allow me to illustrate where my distaste comes from.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Target Acquisition

If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion.
--Douglas Adams

Target selection in EVE Online PvP is important.  You need to have a firm grasp of exactly what ships you can and can't engage when flying.  True to form, I attempt to gain this knowledge the only way I know how: The Hard Way.  Here are a couple of failed attempts at engaging a target.  If you were instead looking for advice on how to do it the right way, you came to the wrong place.  I suggest you try out one of those other blogs where people know what they're doing.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Making Lowsec Money

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.
--Douglas Adams

For those of my readers not in the United States (Judging from my blog stats about 50%) let me first say that we've had some pretty big snowstorms this week.  Why am I telling you this?  Because I've had four days off in a row and nothing better to do than play EVE and read EVE related Blogs.  Having been spending all my time playing EVE in lowsec having a grand ol' time and a significant portion of my time reading blogs about how lowsec is broken, or doesn't matter, or whatever, I'm ready to strangle the next person who says it.  Since I've already ranted a bit about what I think lowsec's place in New Eden is, I won't be going back to that.  Instead, I'll be discussing some ways that you can already turn a profit there, even if PvP is the furthest thing from your mind.  Warning: WALL OF TEXT AHEAD

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Arbitrator is Not a Scary Word

Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was, "Oh no, not again."  Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now.
--Douglas Adams

In the Amarr line of ships we find some truly terrifying names.  Ships that should strike fear when their name is simply spoken.  Crucifier, Executioner, Punisher, Malediction, Curse, Damnation, the list goes on.  Sadly, the Arbitrator is not one of those ships.  It's a ship that brings to mind the peaceful resolution of disputes between parties.  Perhaps I should have considered a more bad-ass sounding ship when I decided to undock my first Cruiser in the pursuit of Piracy.