Monday, May 23, 2011

Ged Oovening Ociffer

The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.
--Douglas Adams

Drinking and driving is bad.  In the future, drinking and flying a spaceship will be awesome.  At least, if EVE is any indication.

Having never partaken in the time honored tradition of Drunken Roaming, I recently decided to give it a try.  OK, truth be told I didn't actually plan for it to happen.  In fact, it never seemed like a particularly good idea until after I had already been drinking.  It's possible that my ability to make good decisions had already been compromised at that point.  One of the downsides being that I only have a very vague recollection of the events that transpired.

Arriving home sometime shortly after last call, I logged into EVE.  I knew only that I had an overwhelming desire to see something explode, and didn't particularly care whether it was me or not.  Finding some other pilots of The Blood Money Cartel were already out looking for trouble, I basically jumped on their coat tails.  Anytime someone spotted a viable target, I would begin to head towards that my plated Cruiser...without a Scout.  I usually arrived too late to do anything of great value except hop on the killmail of a pod and witness a Dominix explode when I was still outside of locking range.  In some sort of Fortune Favors the Bold moment, I managed to not run into any gate camps while doing it.  Well, no player gate camps at least.

Shortly after dropping my Arbitrator on a Tusker in a Tristan, I was somewhat pleased with how I wasn't going to have to wait out GCC for attacking an Outlaw.  As I sat gloating over this fact, one of our new members reported finding a full blown mining operation in a belt.  Asking him to link the system in chat, I clicked Set Destination and smiled when my Autopilot displayed that it was one jump away.  I quickly jumped into the next system and proceeded to get pulled over by the cops.

"Wet seems two bee teh prablum ociffer?"

"Criminals are not welcome into Gallente space."

Oh right, that.  It seems I wasn't being pulled over for driving under the influence after all.  I assured the officer that this was all just a big misunderstanding.  Some trumped up charges from a Gallente Senator who's daughter I had allegedly had inappropriate relations with.  He decided to let me go with a warning.

"Leave now, or your vessel will be destroyed!"

I took the opportunity to warp to a belt and then quickly back to a gate that promised the safety of Lowsec.  It was always best not to dwell in Highsec, lest I encounter some less reasonable Navy Officer in the future.  Many good laughs were had on Teamspeak at my expense and our newest recruit was reminded that High Security space wasn't the best choice for a belt pirate.

Having my fill of excitement after a run in with the Gallente Navy, I decided to call it a night.  Alcohol may not have been great for my killboard, but it certainly did provide some laughs that I wouldn't have had otherwise so mission accomplished in the fun department.



1 comment:

  1. Lol, nothing like remembering a little to late that you can't enter High-Sec. I've forgotten a few times before that gate guns are deadly to frigates, in fact, the other day I attacked an Iteron 15km from the gate. ><