Thursday, December 30, 2010

What about Blob?

There's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for Hamlet they've worked out.
-- Douglas Adams

When last we spoke, I mentioned a bit about gang sizes and conveniently that brings me to my first real taste of unsatisfactory PvP that I had in EVE.  Being on the receiving end of a gate camp.  Please, join me on this tale of fail.

Having spent an hour roaming about the Placid region by myself without much luck, I had set course for home to lay down my weary head.  Most of the systems I had jumped into had been empty, but one jump away from home that all changed.  Arriving in Covryn, local showed half a dozen members of an alliance that self-professed to be anti-pirate and anti-griefer.  I never got the chance to ask them if they realized that they griefed pirates, but oh well.  Deciding not to linger here long, I made my way to the gate to home and was greeted with 6 pilots on grid at the gate.

Jumping through to the other side, I quickly found myself surrounded.  I attempted to just warp off and watched as my Space Brick™ of a ship began slowly aligning.  Just as I thought I was going to make it, I got the familiar notification that I was being warp scrambled.  Setting course back towards the gate was now my only hope of survival, but it was a slim hope at best.  I made it to about 7km from the gate when my Punisher hull gave way.  A few moments later and my poor little pod was docking up at the station.

Extending a gf in local didn't exactly garner the response I was looking for.  In fact, it was met with the encouragement that I should quit my corporation.  That I should join these guys*.

[ 2010.11.04 06:18:06 ] Devour > we're not joking here.. we're only looking out for your best interests as an eve player who wants to grow and get epic kills

And of course the standard "OMG UR FIT IZ FALE!" rhetoric.  

[ 2010.11.04 06:18:41 ] Ralphy > yeah, what's w/ the AC's?
[ 2010.11.04 06:20:08 ] Me > They're for shooting things.
[ 2010.11.04 06:20:26 ] Ralphy > on an amarr ship....
[ 2010.11.04 06:20:39 ] Devour > I know it doesn't have dps bonuses, but it has cap bonuses

I thought about explaining that the ACs used no cap.  But when they followed up with telling me that I'd be able to haul more loot since I wouldn't need ammo on the lazors, I decided it wasn't worth the effort.  Surely I'm missing out on a lot of loot with the 3m³ that is taken up by my ammo, but to each his own.  They had, after all, laid low my mighty T1 frigate with their Cyclone, Hurricane, Proteus, Drake and Rupture.  Who was I to argue with their mad skillz?

No, I don't want to argue with them.  The only emotion that comes to mind when I think of them is pity.  It really does sadden me that they would consider what they're doing to be Epic Kills.  I didn't get into PvP in EVE so that I could take down ships with odds overwhelmingly stacked in my favor.  I did it so that I could one day take on groups outnumbered, outgunned, and still come away the victor.  This was not that day.

*Names have been changed to protect the idiotic.

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